One step forward, two steps back
by Bumfluff
Summary: Post TAIE Sara POV (1 swear word)


Author: Bumfluff

Title: One step forward….two steps back

Spoilers: TAIE

Disclaimers: I own nothing except my computer 

Notes: This resulted from sheer boredom on my part but mainly from an excellent episode.  It hasn't been beta'd so the mistakes are all mine.

She came in through the front door and absently threw her keys down on the table beside the door.  They landed with a 'clink' on the table, the noise bringing her from the thoughts that had preoccupied her mind since she had left the others at the restaurant.  She grimaced, wondering for a brief second if she had cracked the glass tabletop.  'Just great' she thought slumping against her door.

_'__You do get emotionally involved, though with the men on your cases……….'_

Sara closed her eyes tight as the words echoed in her mind for what probably was the hundredth time since they were first spoken.  'Bitch' she exhaled to herself.  She kicked off her shoes, her feet had been hurting her since the hearing, and she was relieved to be free from the offending footwear.

_' ……You look………nice….'_

Sara, deciding she needed a drink, walked barefoot across to her kitchen.  Shrugging her suit jacket off as she did so his words echoed again

'…What ever happens in court…its not because you're seeing this guy………you deserve to have a life…'

Sara sighed and took a sip from the glass.  Lifting the bottle she headed over to her sofa and sank down into its comforting mass.  Raising the glass in a half-toast she said to no one in particular "Here's to getting a life".  She knocked back some of the drink.  Raising her glass a second time " This ones to relationships"

*~*~*~

" Relationship?".  Grissom turned to look at Sara, a thousand questions and emotions all in one expression.  Sara had to look away, for no other reason that she became painfully aware of the gazes of both men on her; Gerard, looking for a reaction, something to use against them, while Grissom was just looking for confirmation of what Gerard had 'announced'.  She couldn't bare the scrutiny.

"…Um, its not a relationship…we go to movies…" But Grissom's voice interrupted her protest.  Sara guessed that Grissom didn't want to make a scene in front of Gerard, but his tone…his voice breaking as he spoke…his body language screamed his desire, his need to get out of the room.  He didn't say anything before he left with Gerard…she couldn't say anything…. what was there to say.

*~*~*~

_' ………You were touching him in a romantic gesture…'_

_'…I brushed chalk from his face…'_

_' Is that what they're calling it now?'_

Sara downed the remainder of her drink and poured herself another one.  " Bitch" she murmured into her glass.  Her hands became sweaty and Sara remembered how thick her tongue felt in her mouth as she tried to explain _' We were looking for a body…'_

She scolded herself mentally. She had been caught off guard.  She had been prepared to explain the situation with the victim's bra especially after the song and dance Gerard had made in the layout room about Hank, but Grissom? That came totally out of the left field.  She had been professionally scrutinized, dissected and left for dead, but to be branded as being swayed by her flirtatious emotional needs, enough to taint evidence for Grissom's approval.  

' To please her boss Gil Grissom, whether he returns her attentions or not' 

" Argh!"  Sara threw the glass across the room, some of her tension and frustrations alleviated by the sound of glass smashing against the far wall.  Looking at the shards of glass lying limply on the floor Sara could feel the alcohol slowly kicking in and she slumped back into the body of the sofa.  Her stomach growled in protest to the alcohol.  She should have had something to eat with the others, but her stomach was still churning long after her testimony.  Her only solace was the knowledge that her colleagues were not present to see the debacle that was her integrity and professionalism being torn to shreds; that Grissom wasn't there to hear her stammer and stutter as her deepest feelings were displayed for the world to see.  She knew her face had betrayed her, confirming at least, her growing confusion over her…and Grissom.

*~*~*~

She had been sitting in the restaurant with Nick, Cat and Warrick her appetite was non-existent.  As the others made light banter, Sara's eyes were drawn to the door.  Every time the door opened her eyes darted to the entrance.  She was becoming jumpy; every time it opened she expected to see him.  Sara tried to feign interest in her friend's discussions but eventually she grew tired of maintaining the fake jolliness.  She had made her excuses and got up to leave.  In her hurry to get out the door she didn't even realise she had bumped into someone until she heard the voice.  " Sara?"

Grissom stood before her and Sara felt sick to her stomach.  Fighting back the blush she could feel creeping over her she heard him ask her if she was leaving.  She looked up at him, her eyes making the briefest of contact with his,  " I'm kinda beat, um, I was just gonna head home, get some rest…" She turned to where she had heard the group's laughter coming from.  Turning back to him their eyes met briefly again         "They're back there." Grissom nodded slightly, his eyes moving to the booth where Catherine was waving frantically at him.  Slowly his eyes made their way back to Sara.  He looked as if he wanted to say something but the two of them stood there, no words passing their lips.  " I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then" Sara smiled her reply and headed out the door. Grissom watched as she crossed the street before heading to join the rest of his team.

*~*~*~

The sound of the phone ringing brought her out of her thoughts.  

" Hello"

" Sara? Hi its me"

"Hey, Hank, what's happening?"

" I, Well I knew you were giving testimony today, I saw that you got your man, movie stars huh."

Sara smiled " yeah, but they're not above the law no matter what they think"

" I finish in about half an hour…I thought, well…if you're up to it, do you fancy grabbing something to eat, maybe a movie?"  

Sara looked at the broken glass on the floor.  Her own words echoing in her mind

'_To………Relationships!'_

She swallowed hard but for the first time that evening she felt herself relax.

"Yeah, Hank.  That sounds…good…" 


End file.
